


operation: make kyouhaba a thing

by mukeandziamgotmelike



Series: captainy shenanigans [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic, CAPTAIN SQUAD, Chatting & Messaging, Friendship, Getting Together, Insecurity, M/M, Next-Gen, emotionally constipated shirabu, friends helping friends get the guy they like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukeandziamgotmelike/pseuds/mukeandziamgotmelike
Summary: shirabooboo has added fergie, newlywed, king, queen, gucci, and ★ MILF ★ to the chat.shirabooboo has changed the chat name to 'super secret spy mission don’t tell yahoeba'.gucci: shady





	

**Author's Note:**

> i just realized i never formally concluded that kyoutani and yahaba got together? maybe i did? i don't know anymore  
> to anyone who hasn't read the previous fic in this series:  
> shirabooboo: shirabu  
> yahoeba: yahaba  
> gucci: terushima  
> king: futakuchi  
> queen: akaashi  
> MILF: ennoshita  
> fergie: fukunaga  
> newlywed: seguro

**_shirabooboo has added fergie, newlywed, king, queen, gucci, and ★ MILF ★ to the chat._ **

**_shirabooboo has changed the chat name to_ ** **_super secret spy mission don’t tell yahoeba_ ** **_._ **

**gucci:** shady

 **newlywed:** arent u guys friends

 **fergie:** i am confused and feeling attacked

 **king:** koganegawa literally ships you guys. what is going on?

 **★ MILF ★:** Guys, just let him tell us

 **queen:** What the fuck Shirabu I’m so tired just get this over with

 **shirabooboo:** NOW THAT EVERYONE IS HERE

 **shirabooboo:** it has been brought to my attention, painfully so, that our dear friend yahoeba is NOT in fact dating his ace or dog or whatever

 **king:** he’s a dog, i think.

 **fergie:** does this mean shigeru is into beastiality

 **queen:** Swipe left

 **gucci:** *right

 **newlywed:** all of you shut up i wanna hear this

 **shirabooboo:** i was chatting with goshiki, who was chatting with the two second years on seijoh, who informed us that yahoeba and kyou whats his name havent gotten together

 **shirabooboo:** which is simply awful

 **shirabooboo:** i have made the executive decision to intervene

 **★ MILF ★:** Oh dear lord

 **gucci:** ENNOSHITA CHIKARA YOU ARE SO NEGATIVE SOMETIMES LETS HEAR HIM OUT

 **shirabooboo:** thx boi youve always got my back

 **king:** im kinkshaming

 **queen:** So what are we expected to do?

 **shirabooboo:** MAKE HIM REALIZE HIS TRUE FEELINGS

 **shirabooboo:** THROUGH BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS

 **gucci:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **shirabooboo:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **newlywed:** what the hap is fuckening since when did shirabu and teru get along

 **fergie:** shirabu is so friendly lately im lowkey frightened

 **★ MILF ★:** He could be plotting our deaths right now

 **shirabooboo:** ˙ ͜ʟ˙

 **fergie:** oml

 **queen:** How about we just let them get together on their own time? Or explain it to them gently?

 **shirabooboo:** pfffffffffff

 **shirabooboo:** its my idea so were doing it my way

 **gucci:** what a dom

 **king:** kinkshaming

 **gucci:** wow dont hate on me for my kinks just bc you aint gettin this ass anymore

 **gucci:** im retaliating

 **fergie:** wtf

^^^

 **_gucci has changed the chat name to_ ** **_squad song of the day: shoutout to my ex by little mix_ ** **_._ **

**yahoeba:** @futa

 **king:** wow real mature

 **gucci:**  i get that a lot

^^^

 **fergie:** TERU IS SO PETTY HAHA

 **shirabooboo:** SO

 **shirabooboo:** heres what we’re gonna do

 **newlywed:** k

 **shirabooboo:** first off, we’ll need code names

 **shirabooboo:** i am eagle one

 **shirabooboo:** teru is been there done that

 **shirabooboo:** akaashi is currently doing that

 **queen:** You wish.

 **gucci:** THAT CALLOUT THO

 **shirabooboo:** ennoshit… it happened once in a dream

 **★ MILF ★:** Should… I be worried?

 **fergie:** yes

 **newlywed:** extremely

 **shirabooboo:** futakuchi is i wouldn’t touch that w a 39 ½ foot pole

 **★ MILF ★:** Tis the season motherfuckers

 **shirabooboo:** fukunaga, if i had to pick a dude

 **fergie:** im no t un der stand

 **shirabooboo:** and seguro is

 **shirabooboo:** eagle 2

 **newlywed:** oh thank god

 **shirabooboo:** now that thats out of the way lets get down to business

 **fergie:** TO DEFEAT

 **newlywed:** THE HUNS

 **gucci:** HUH

 **shirabooboo:** why did i ever think this would work

 **queen:** Honestly, I thought you were more clever than this.

 **shirabooboo:** PHASE ONE

 **king:** inventive. has a certain ring to it.

 **shirabooboo:** i subtly start posting more pics of myself looking cute af and yahoeba looking decent enough to make kyoukens heart go doki doki

 **gucci:** lbr he could wear a trash bag and kyoukens heart would go doki doki

 **gucci:** tbh so would mine

 **king:** kinkshaming

 **gucci:** SOM ENE S T O P HI M

 **shirabooboo:** which will subsequently make me feel better about myself bc its cute when eita gets all blushy and shit i guess

 **queen:** So not only is this for Yahaba, but also your own personal gain?

 **shirabooboo:** yea

 **shirabooboo:** so after we’ve planted the seed, then its time to bring in the big guns

 **shirabooboo:** teru you are slightly associated with kyoutani right

 **gucci:** KYOUTANI IS LIKE MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER

 **fergie:** we new third years are a tight knit group

 **fergie:** futamata takeharu brings us all together

 **newlywed:** GUYS I LOVE FUTAMATA

 **queen:** Same.

 **king:** absolute fave. total legend.

 **gucci:** none of the old third years knew him buT EVERYONE NOW FUCKING DOES AND ITS LIKE YES BITCH

 **gucci:** LIKE EVEN TOKYO TEAMS

 **★ MILF ★:** He is the center of all things good and holy

 **fergie:** also dat asssss

 **gucci:** (softly) _dont_

 **shirabooboo:** SO ANYWAY

 **shirabooboo:** teru you will get him to go to this park, ill send you the deets its vv nice and pretty

 **shirabooboo:** not as pretty as akaashi tho

 **queen:** I should hope not.

 **shirabooboo:** but yahaba really likes it and there are usually a lot of dogs there so i think they would like it

 **fergie:** shit thats so sweet of you

 **newlywed:** who tf r u and what have u done w the real shirabu

 **shirabooboo:** idk guys i just want him to be happy i guess

 **shirabooboo:** hes obvs really in love w the dude

 **shirabooboo:** i guess… he would do the same for me? if our places were switched?

 **shirabooboo:** idk i dont really get this stuff

 **king:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrYa0TQuODs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrYa0TQuODs)

**fergie:** same im sobbing

 **shirabooboo:** THIS IS WHY I DONT GET DEEP WITH YOU GUYS

 **fergie:** no joke tho im actually crying

 **fergie:** _[picture attached]_

 **newlywed:** OH FUCK NO

 **queen:** SHOUHEI?!?!!?!?

 **★ MILF ★:** Don’t cry!!!!!!

 **gucci:** o shit waddup

 **shirabooboo:** SHIT FUCK DAMN WHAT DO I DO

 **shirabooboo:** GOOGLE HOW TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE WHOS CRYING

 **king:** SHIT HERE

 **king:** [ http://www.wikihow.com/Comfort-a-Crying-Woman ](http://www.wikihow.com/Comfort-a-Crying-Woman)

**shirabooboo:** GDI FUTA THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR WIKIHOW

 **king:** IT IS ALWAYS THE TIME FOR WIKIHOW

 **fergie:** no yall im fine theyre happy tears

 **fergie:** bC SHIRABU AND YAHABA ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS

 **shirabooboo:** i mean

 **shirabooboo:** i also want to play against him when hes at his best

 **shirabooboo:** and that wont happen if he and kyoutani arent working together the best that they can

 **shirabooboo:** so yeah… volleyball

 **gucci:** what a gr9 sport i lev it

 **shirabooboo:** um yeah so teru youll bring him to the park and ill bring yahaba

 **shirabooboo:** then ill leave or smth and make sure that they see each other

 **shirabooboo:** and yeah thats my plan

 **gucci:** THEYLL MAKE EYE CONTACT AND TALK AND ADMIT THEIR FEELINGS

 **gucci:** IT WILL BE BEAUTIFUL

 **shirabooboo:** so what i need the rest of you guys to do is be completely cool about this in the groupchat

 **shirabooboo:** dont let him know bc then he’ll be pissed and wont listen to me bc hes a stubborn asshole

 **fergie:** dont worry

 **fergie:** i wont tell shigeru what you said

 **fergie:** itll be our little secret

 **newlywed:** I LOVE YOU

 **fergie:** KUROO-SAN WOULD MAKE US WATCH THAT MOVIE I COULD PROBS RECITE IT IN MY SLEEP AT THIS POINT

 **newlywed:** SAME W DAISHOU-SAN OMG

 **fergie:** AHHHHHHH

 **newlywed:** AHHHHH

 **fergie:** AHHHHHH

_[cut for length]_

**shirabooboo:** k

^^^

 **shirabooboo:** WE’RE SPRINGIN INTO ACTION

 **shirabooboo:** THE PARK IS FUCKIN FREEZING

 **shirabooboo:** BUT ITS VV PRETTY CUZ ITS SNOWING OUT

 **shirabooboo:** I HAVE TOLD YAHABA THAT IM GETTING US HOT CHOCOLATE

 **shirabooboo:** GO TERU RELEASE THE DOG

 **gucci:** OKAY IVE GOT YAHABA IN MY SIGHTS

 **gucci:** I HAVE CASUALLY EXCUSED MYSELF

 **gucci:** HI SHIRABU I SEE YOU

 **gucci:** YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE  
**shirabooboo:** THANKS I KNOW

 **shirabooboo:** NOW PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE AWAY

^^^

Terushima pockets his phone, walking over to Shirabu. “Hey,” he says. Shirabu shushes him, handing him a cup of a steaming liquid. “We’re spying on them, just to make sure they don’t do anything stupid. Get comfy,” Shirabu says. The tip of his nose is red and his teeth are nearly chattering, and he looks _so cute._

“C’mon,” the setter says, walking over to a bush and kneeling behind it. He pats the spot next to him and Terushima sits down there. “I’m freezing,” Shirabu whispers. “Then maybe you should’ve worn kneepads,” Terushima comments. “Oh, fuck you, I don’t know where they are.”

“Shirabu Kenjirou, resident perfect pretty boy, has lost something? You’re… disorganized, dare I say it?”

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t usually wear them anyway.”

“That’s not a good idea, you’ll end up like Oikawa,” Terushima says. Shirabu rolls his eyes. “I’m usually not in serve receive anyway. And Yamagata-san gets so into the game he’d probably run me over trying to get a ball up, anyway.” “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” Shirabu sighs. “First year was a… dark time.”

Terushima laughs loudly, but Shirabu covers his mouth quickly. “Shut up! There’s Kyoutani!”

Said ace sits down nervously next to Yahaba, who barely looks up from his phone. When he notices the familiar face, however, he does a double take.

“They’re talking. Let’s make up dialogue,” Terushima suggests. Shirabu raises an eyebrow, but complies. “Okay. I’m Yahaba, you’re Kyoutani.”

Yahaba starts talking, so Shirabu thinks fast. Tendou was in drama class, so he taught them _all_ about improv. It was fun, but of course, Shirabu would never tell his redheaded senpai that he thought that.

“Kyoutani, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you wearing a coat? You’re gonna get sick, y’know,” Shirabu says, raising his voice to mock Yahaba’s. “Hmm,” Terushima grunts under his breath. Shirabu bites his lip to keep from laughing. “Fine, whatever. Get sick, you fuckin’ idiot. I don’t give a damn.” Terushima grunts again.

“So what are you doing here? Dog watching, or something?”

Another grunt.

“Well, Shirabu left me here. He said he was getting hot chocolate, but I bet he’s getting hit on or something, because he’s such a beautiful person. Shiratorizawa is much better than Aoba Johsai, to be honest.”

“I was with Terushima.”

“Oh, disgusting.”

Terushima pushes Shirabu’s arm, and the Shiratorizawa captain laughs quietly as he almost falls over. “This is so bad -” “Shut up, shut up. Okay - Shirabu must have planned this. He’s so smart, I wish I could be more like him - your move. I’m nailing this.”

“Planned what? Quoth the dog.”

“Oh my god, Teru,” Shirabu laughs. “He thinks that I like you. No, love you. I love you, Kyoutani! But now I’m walking away because I’m scared of feelings!”

“Really? That’s cool, because I love you, too, Yahaba.”

“No, I am walking away!”

“Come back, my love!”

Terushima looks to Shirabu when he doesn’t say anything in reply. He’s looking down, his hands clutching his cup of hot chocolate nervously. “What’s up?” Terushima asks, scooting a little closer to him. Shirabu shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s stupid.” When the Johzenji captain doesn’t say anything, just nods for him to go on, Shirabu continues.

“I never… had this. I never got crushes or anything like that. People would be talking about what girls or guys they liked, and I - I was just confused. I don’t understand it, but…”

He looks up to where Yahaba and Kyoutani are.

“They look so happy, and as much as I want to feel like that, I just… don’t,” he shrugs, looking back down. “But you’re pretty happy with what you and Semi have, aren’t you?” Terushima asks. They seemed happy. Shirabu seemed to like being with him. Shirabu nods. “More than anything. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I want to make him happy.” He sighs. “I just wish I was more normal, you know?”

“Kenjirou, you’re definitely normal,” Terushima says. “Who cares if you don’t experience romantic attraction? Akihiko is asexual, he’s pretty normal.” Shirabu shrugs. “I guess you have a point. Thanks, Teru, I - I guess…” Then Terushima is hugging him. He tenses up, not used to physical contact with another other than Semi, or sometimes Kawanishi.

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you? Should I… should I stop?” Terushima asks. Shirabu shakes his head. “No, I’m cold and need to harness your body heat,” he whispers, relaxing in Terushima’s arms.

Someone clears their throat and both captains look up.

“Oh fuck,” Shirabu sighs when he sees who it is. “Heyyy, Shigeru, there you are! I was looking for you, or something,” he says. Yahaba raises an eyebrow. “Why are you two hugging behind a bush?” Terushima sees that his hand is joined with Kyoutani’s, so he smirks. “Long story, honey. Let’s talk about you two, though. You seem to be very close.”

Yahaba starts stuttering out excuses, and Kyoutani goes beet red, and really, that’s all the clues Terushima needs.

“Okay, okay, lovebirds, let’s go. It’s fuckin’ freezing out here.”

^^^

 **shirabooboo:** mission accomplished yall

 **yahoeba:** What mission?

 **fergie:** AHHHHHH CONGRATS YAHABA

 **yahoeba:** What?

 **queen:** I’m happy for you

 **newlywed:** NICE DUDE HIT THAT

 **★ MILF ★:** Im so proud!!!

 **king:** well shit good one

 **yahoeba:** WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT

 **gucci:** operation make kyouhaba a thing!! it was our plan to get you two to start dating

 **yahoeba:** …

 **yahoeba:** WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS

 **queen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **★ MILF ★:** We just care about you! We want you to be happy

 **newlywed:** it was shirabus idea

 **yahoeba:** Really?

 **shirabooboo:** you mad bro? B)

 **yahoeba:** Thank you, actually.

 **shirabooboo:** what

 **yahoeba:** Yeah. Watari said he was about to kill me if I didn’t do something about the tension between us.

 **king:** thats p funny

 **fergie:** chuckle

 **yahoeba:** K so you guys are really annoying but I love you anyway.

 **gucci:** AWWWWWWWWWW

 **★ MILF ★:** Thats so sweet!!

 **shirabooboo:** gross youre so gay ahah

 **shirabooboo:** UUGHHHH HES HUGGING ME

 **shirabooboo:** EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP DOING THAT

 **queen:** Nice kill Yahaba

 


End file.
